In the middle of this 4 hour event I pressed play on a 40 minute self-composed backing track, sneaked out of the DJ booth and placed myself on the round little stage with 250 headphones glowing in the darkness around me.
The dark and the headphone sound system left me without much visual nor auditory feedback from the crowd. A challenge indeed, as it is easy to ‘feed’ off of what I can see and hear in the group and let that instruct my guidance.
Vivation is not a mental process but occurs purely at the feeling level and I need to guide from that state within myself.
The difference for the one being guided can be the difference between having ‘a good session’ and having an experience that touches the soul and infuses every cell with more life.
Vivation is a breathwork meditation in which we get in touch with our suppressed emotional material as it manifests physically in the body and integrate it into our sense of self and sense of wholeness and wellbeing.
While guiding, I do the practice myself, that’s how I’ve been taught; “The best way to give your client a good session is to give yourself an even better!” 
This session in Amsterdam was an intense challenge to fully trust that guiding from my own personal process of getting in touch with my ‘murky emotional stuff’ in the moment would be coherent with the participants’ processes.
It’s pretty great though, as I get some healing myself every time I manage to guide in this way!